On Tuesday, the Chicago White Sox kicked of their 2013 season when pitchers and catchers reported to Camelback Ranch. After a season where they were in the AL Central race before losing 10 out of their last 12 games, they return with virtually the same roster. Utility third baseman Jeff Keppinger is the team’s new player. Long time fan favorite and badass catcher A.J. Pierzynski was let go in free agency and signed with the Rangers. The White Sox are notorious for doing anything in the offseason, with the last major acquisition being Adam Dunn two years ago.
Now that Spring Training is finally upon us, it’s time to get prepared for the season. Since the Sox's offseason was about as brutal as LL Cool J's Grammy performance, I bring you: A Narcissist’s Guide to How to Get Ready For The White Sox season.
1. Dull down your excitement for any big minor league prospects.
The White Sox historically have had a terrible farm system that has been as barren as Rosie O’ Donnell’s uterus over the last decade or so. They are the worst at developing top draft picks and getting them to The Show but somehow sturdy prospects still come out of the system. Reed was the only prospect other than Jose Quintana that made a positive impact last year.
Last year, far and away top prospect Addison Reed made a big impact as a closer with 29 saves. Quintana pitched well before hitting the rookie wall. Chris Sale stretched himself into being a big time starter with Cy Young hopes before getting gassed towards the end of the season.
The minors look very bleak this season. Only 2012 first round pick Courtney Hawkins made prospect extraordinaire Keith Law’s Top 100 Prospect list for 2013. But the 19 year-old isn’t contributing soon as he had only 229 at-bats in Class A ball last season. Don’t expect much from the farm system this year.
2. The ever aging core that is no more.
For most of the 2000’s, the Sox were built around three of the whitest players in baseball[1] in Mark Buehrle, A.J. Pierzynski and Paul Konerko. The Sox have shown the door to both Buehrle and Pierzynski, leaving Konerko as the only player left from the 2005 World Series team. The slow-moving first baseman’s new companions are Adam Dunn and Jake Peavy, who might be the whitest player in baseball. Dunn is the king of the home run or strike out prediction. Peavy is a pitcher that had an above-average season last year after a groundbreaking procedure saved his career.
Dunn is 33 and only getting older, which means at some point the $28 million dollars left will have negative returns when his power numbers start to fail for good. Peavy is 31 and no longer the power pitcher that won him the Cy Young once upon a time. He figured out how to win with limited velocity last year and that should be the same this year, but that can only carry you so far. As sad as it is to say, Paulie is 37 this year and struggled mightily after the All-Star Break when injuries destroyed his productivity. All three are a year older and that much more likely to regress. Unless John Danks comes back to his old form and Alex Rios comes up big again, the Sox will regress because their team will be older and won’t be able to handle the rigors of a full season.
3. Trying To Figure Out When That Inevitable Major Midseason Trade Will Happen.
It’s going to happen. Last year it was Kevin Youkilis. He kicked the team into another gear before becoming old at the end of the season. The Sox team this year has problems in the outfield and at third base. They will make a move and it will provide the usual month boost. I predict July 3rd to be the date. The player? I’m not sure, but I’m sure it’ll be some free agent to be in his mid 30’s.
4. Where To Vent Your Rage After The Inevitable Cubs Hot/Cold streak To Start The Season That Will Bump The Sox To A Small Square On Page 8 Of The Tribune Sports Section.
Channel it into anger toward Rick Hahn for letting A.J. go. What a damn shame.
[1] You could make the case that every white guy is the Whitest Player in the MLB.
Now that Spring Training is finally upon us, it’s time to get prepared for the season. Since the Sox's offseason was about as brutal as LL Cool J's Grammy performance, I bring you: A Narcissist’s Guide to How to Get Ready For The White Sox season.
1. Dull down your excitement for any big minor league prospects.
The White Sox historically have had a terrible farm system that has been as barren as Rosie O’ Donnell’s uterus over the last decade or so. They are the worst at developing top draft picks and getting them to The Show but somehow sturdy prospects still come out of the system. Reed was the only prospect other than Jose Quintana that made a positive impact last year.
Last year, far and away top prospect Addison Reed made a big impact as a closer with 29 saves. Quintana pitched well before hitting the rookie wall. Chris Sale stretched himself into being a big time starter with Cy Young hopes before getting gassed towards the end of the season.
The minors look very bleak this season. Only 2012 first round pick Courtney Hawkins made prospect extraordinaire Keith Law’s Top 100 Prospect list for 2013. But the 19 year-old isn’t contributing soon as he had only 229 at-bats in Class A ball last season. Don’t expect much from the farm system this year.
2. The ever aging core that is no more.
For most of the 2000’s, the Sox were built around three of the whitest players in baseball[1] in Mark Buehrle, A.J. Pierzynski and Paul Konerko. The Sox have shown the door to both Buehrle and Pierzynski, leaving Konerko as the only player left from the 2005 World Series team. The slow-moving first baseman’s new companions are Adam Dunn and Jake Peavy, who might be the whitest player in baseball. Dunn is the king of the home run or strike out prediction. Peavy is a pitcher that had an above-average season last year after a groundbreaking procedure saved his career.
Dunn is 33 and only getting older, which means at some point the $28 million dollars left will have negative returns when his power numbers start to fail for good. Peavy is 31 and no longer the power pitcher that won him the Cy Young once upon a time. He figured out how to win with limited velocity last year and that should be the same this year, but that can only carry you so far. As sad as it is to say, Paulie is 37 this year and struggled mightily after the All-Star Break when injuries destroyed his productivity. All three are a year older and that much more likely to regress. Unless John Danks comes back to his old form and Alex Rios comes up big again, the Sox will regress because their team will be older and won’t be able to handle the rigors of a full season.
3. Trying To Figure Out When That Inevitable Major Midseason Trade Will Happen.
It’s going to happen. Last year it was Kevin Youkilis. He kicked the team into another gear before becoming old at the end of the season. The Sox team this year has problems in the outfield and at third base. They will make a move and it will provide the usual month boost. I predict July 3rd to be the date. The player? I’m not sure, but I’m sure it’ll be some free agent to be in his mid 30’s.
4. Where To Vent Your Rage After The Inevitable Cubs Hot/Cold streak To Start The Season That Will Bump The Sox To A Small Square On Page 8 Of The Tribune Sports Section.
Channel it into anger toward Rick Hahn for letting A.J. go. What a damn shame.
[1] You could make the case that every white guy is the Whitest Player in the MLB.